The missing piece to my puzzle
by whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer
Summary: Spock was not certain of many things which was not surprising since he had lost his world along with his mother but some reason his 'gut' was telling him he would enjoy piecing the puzzle of who his Captain was and what had made James T. Kirk the man he was today.


There isn't much for Spock to do for he isn't a engineer (he is a Science Officer as well as a Commanding Officer of the Enterprise) so during this time- when his final shift is over- Spock would have been mediating instead of waiting for the Enterprise's current Captain (who has more than sufficient - which is unexpected factor considering Spock never thought it possible for James T. Kirk to be sufficient as Captain at all).

After the loss of his mother and of Vulcan Spock has been -

He is... not fine. And he is feeling irritation (instead of being impassive like a proper Vulcan would) at how often- thirteen times today- his crewmembers (even Noyta) are asking how he is. And after he gives them the answer that he still fit for his duties they tell him it will get better.

Except it will not. Fully that is. Soon Spock will manage to control these feelings that his mother death and planet's destruction have caused him to feel but his mother and his planet will never be brought back. So no it will not be better.

Spock's thoughts were interrupted by his Captain arrival. Captain Kirk does not comment on his room temperature like Captain Pike had when he first visited Spock quarters. Spock is thankfully for he doesn't because he would then have explain that he prefered hot temperatures like Vulcan- no had been in Vulcan instead of cool temperature that most humans prefer.

"Captain you never explained the purpose of you visiting my quarters," Spock is being not harsh towards the Captain. Despite what many humans think Spock does not mean to be rude (while many of Vulcans think he is too soft) he just does not care to 'beat around the brush.'

"I came to talk to you. I just wanted to say that they're wrong." Kirk didn't elaborate who they were.

"Who is incorrect?"

"The crew." He paused for a minute. "Humans have a tendency to say that things will get better. Most times it does get better. That isn't the case for you Spock." The Captain rubbed his face with his hands. Spock for the first time noticed how exhausted the Captain looked.

Much had changed since Spock had first laid on eyes on the arrogant cadet- who wasn't as arrogant as the he paraded about to be- that had managed to cheat his simulation.

"Something like this you will never get over," Spock noted the haunted tone in his Captain voice,"no matter what your told. Alcohol or in your case chocolate will only help for a while and it will be worse - like someone had rubbed salt in your wound - once you get out of it's influence. The best things you can do are: try to prevent this from happening again, having someone there for you that genuinely cares for you and won't shove optimistic bullshit down your throat, and keep busying."

Spock found himself genuinely confused. After the cadet had cheated the Kobayashi Maru Spock had researched his records for the hearing. The only things that could cause grief in James T. Kirk's life would be his older brother, George Samuel Kirk, Jr., running away since the Captain had been too young to remember and therefore grieve his father death.

Yet somehow the man in front of him understood greif. Understood it will never get better but it could be managed. Spock had always loved puzzles. That love affair had started with his mother had brought several of them from a trip Earth back to Vulcan so that he might play with them since other children preferred to either bully him or avoid him like a plague (despite how illogical that was) instead of seeking companionship with him.

Spock was not certain of many things which was not surprising since he had lost his world along with his mother but some reason his 'gut' was telling him he would enjoy piecing the puzzle of who his Captain was and what had made James T. Kirk the man he was today.

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 **A/N: I own nothing.**

 **Part of the "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them" series that's cross posted on archiveofourown. Takes place before Sticks and Stones.**


End file.
